Musings From Parenting In Quarantine Like me, I know that you and your family are well into a reality that includes coronavirus, and probably some anxiety and uncertainty as well. For most of us, our children are in the lower risk category, which is a relief. Our society’s response is, quite properly, focused on preventing the spread of coronavirus to protect those who are
Do you ever have screen related conflict with your kids? I do! And I feel kinda bad about it. In fact, sometimes I wonder if it is worth the strain on the relationship to insist on things like no screens in bedrooms, reading before screens, etc. But guess what I just figured out? Awesome people who are parents who don’t have screen rules also feel bad about the whole screen thing.
I stared in horror through the doorway of my daughter’s room at the unbelievable scene of devastation! A tornado had apparently descended on her quarters in the night, scattering clothes, papers, makeup and turtle food like confetti. I was filled with panic that perhaps this intense and highly localized weather event had injured my beloved child. Desperately, I raced to the tangle of b
Are 37,000 Valedictorians Successful? That Depends Popular culture has always focused more on external comparisons than on inner character. It doesn’t seem to be getting better. Our kids are growing up in a hyper competitive world with a pervasive sense of limited resources and opportunities amplified by social media which shows all the success that others are experiencing. That’s too bad, because
“Outer-Oriented” Success Is Driving Anxiety And Depression In Kids Reframing Success Can Help School is starting. My kids are excited about friends, sports and music, and even some favorite classes. But there is something else going on, too. They are anxious…about fitting in, about math, about homework, about getting into college even if it is years away—and about not measur
Our Kids Live In A Hyper-Competitive, Comparison-Obsessed Culture Amplified By Social Media The note from the loving parent of a potential summer camper was heartfelt and expressed deep concern about a struggling teenager: “Being a good guitar player is really important to my son’s self-esteem–so I’m worried about him being placed in a group with a better player. Can we talk about this?
Many parents, like me, use a parental control feature to limit the time and content of their children’s screen time. For me, it is the Screen Time app on the iPhone–and my 12-year-old daughter is not a fan! Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the phrase “Parental Control”. It conjures up images of a wise parent protecting an immature child, who cannot resist th
“Don’t Prepare The Path For The Child, Prepare The Child For The Path.” Yes, Our Children Are Growing Up In A Crazy Environment–And We Naturally Want To Protect Them Last month I wrote about how our society’s norms for our young are completely wack! The average US 8–year old spends 6 hours per day on entertainment media and US children rank #1 in the world–for
The Reality Based Parent Saves The Planet Do you want to “save the planet”? Do your kids come home from school and tell you how important recycling is? I do! And…mine do! Like many other families, we strive to reduce our environmental impact (and to feel better about ourselves) by throwing stuff in the recycling bin. But as someone who strives to be a rational, fact-b
“But, Dad, all the other kids…” (And Knowing The Extremes Sets You Free To Use Your Best Parenting Judgment) Does your kid ever tell you that you’re extreme or unfair? Mine do. Here’s a recent true example: Amazing Child: Dad, can I have a soda? Me: Yes, if you have the money. Amazing Child: But I don’t have the money. Me: (looking into space) Amazing Child: Dad! You’
Do You Know What Your Most Important Job As A Parent Is? Have you heard the expression, “Begin with the end in mind?” It is easier to get someplace if you know where you are going. So where are we going as parents? What is the end we have in mind for our children–or for ourselves or others–in this elemental role of parenting? Of course, as parents, we aren’t alone on the jou
REALITY BASED PARENTING When We Try To Keep Our Kids Safe, Are We Actually Harming Them? I looked up from the New York Times online. “Hey, Miriam,” I asked my wife, “remember the park-bench-lady?” “The one who told us that if we didn’t make our kids stop jumping from park bench to park bench she’d call the police? How could I forget?” We were reading one of last week’s most shared artic
This Independence Day, Get Better Parenting Results By Encouraging Your Kids To Embrace Life, Liberty And The Pursuit Of Happiness In celebration of this Independence Day, I’d like to discuss the independence of our very own dependents–our kids. Because it turns out that in parenting as well as nations, enlightened self government gets better results than tyranny and despotism! As parents,
Dear Parent, I’m a parent, too. And even though I am an owner of four guitar schools, a piano school, and a drum studio…and even though my three kids love music and play guitar and drums and sing, I have heard the following: “I don’t want to practice.” “I don’t need to practice” …and of course the famous “I’ll do it later.” Of course, you and I know that practice is a necessary element
Dear Guitar Student Parent, Have you ever wanted to do something, but you felt scared of failing? Or have you ever dreaded a difficult task for which you felt inadequate? Me too! We’re grown ups, right? If, after a lifetime of meeting and surmounting challenges, we still sometimes feel anxiety or dread, doesn’t it make sense that our kids do, too? Perhaps the
Dear Guitar Student Parent, The Guardian newspaper recently reported that late night texting, calling and media consumption is associated with poor sleep (duh!) and also “depressed moods and declines in self-esteem and coping ability” for kids and teens. In fact, the mere presence of a screen in a bedroom is associated with poorer sleep and mental health, even when kids report not usi